PC Gamer sucks.

I wish Computer Gaming World still exists. PC Gamer just doesn't cut it for me. Granted, the magazine has an okay layout, and usually I get to read exclusive reviews faster than from any other sources, but the language is... grating. Now the magazine throws cusses around and sounds like a 14-year old entering puberty. In other word: gross. Things weren't like this when the previous editor-in-chief Dan Morris was in charge. It was fun but retained a respectable feel and had a wider appeal. Now Greg "TheVede" Vederman, who used to be in charge of the hardware articles, makes reading the magazine an irritating exercise. Like I've said before, there's the cussing ("dammit, sh*t, f-ing, f**k, bitch"). And then there's the joke articles, which IMO, I never found to be funny, they're gross and lowbrow at best. And why the hell does the magazine kept fueling the pointless, stupid, insipid, juvenile anti-console sentiment to PC gamers? While personally I also don't like the Xbox and 360 (mainly because most of their most popular games were stolen from the PC), don't these people realize that it's all about the games. If we get to play great games? They have their own games, and we have ours. Seriously, the majority of these console-bashing and PC-bashing morons are immature teenagers. Which probably is the target audience this magazine has. If I hadn't subscribed to the mag for a year, I wouldn't have bothered with it at all.

It brings back memories...

Mentioning Judy Garland in my previous post all of a sudden made me want to hear her singing Over the Rainbow again. It's the most memorable song I've ever heard in my childhood. In my urge I downloaded the mp3 from Limewire (I'm sorry Judy! I promise to buy Wizard of Oz again one day!). And as I listen to the her soft, wistful, singing, I laughed.

I smiled and laughed.

The very same smile and laughter I made when I was a child.

Dorothy (FYI, Judy's character in Wizard of Oz) was singing for all of us. We all, after all, are always looking for our perfect paradise.

Somewhere over the rainbow.

On Beauty

12:12 PM. Alone. Teletubbies on the TV.

I was rummaging through the net, looking for that famous quote by Greta Garbo ("I want to be alone.") then stumbled on AFI's -American Film Institute - 50 Greatest Screen Legends list, in which she was no. 5 (my beloved Judy Garland is no. 8). Here's the link just in case anyone want to see it: http://www.afi.com/tvevents/100years/stars.aspx

In a case of stupidity that I hope all film-goers would be kind enough to forgive, that page was where I first found out that Audrey Hepburn was NOT related to Katharine Hepburn. I always thought Audrey was the daughter of Katharine Hepburn. My mistake!

Okay, after that I browsed through each names on the list by Wikipedia. What struck me then, - as I looked at the pictures of these great actresses and actors - is how beautiful and handsome these people are. My mind then flew to thinking of today's 'hottest' and most popular stars. Angelina Jolie. Beyonce. Brad Pitt. Tom Cruise. etc. All of them, and I mean ALL, look like garbage compared to these past great screen legends (most of whom are already deceased). And please don't get me started on Paris Hilton. True, I have some favorites from today's stars, but nearly all of them are senior ones like Meryl Streep, Anthony Hopkins, and uh... well, that's it, really. Oh, I like Anne Hathaway too. Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that there's no longer that luminous presence, dignity. Our eyes no longer light up in wonder and fascination when we set sight on these 'hottest' stars. What light is there are drowned by the flashes from papparazzi cameras, news and magazines force-feed us useless and pointless informations, and these stars' behavior are only making it worse: bed-hopping, trial-and-error marriage, spouse-stealing, public indecency; the list goes on. Give Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Lindsay Lohan, and Beyonce Knowles a few years of popularity and they strip down their clothes. Because of what? "I'm mature now." Oh, so stripping down in your video clip and wearing minimal clothing makes you an adult? Moron.I don't want to be a hypocrite. I do like looking at beautiful actresses and artists. But if that's all I'm looking for, come 50, the physical attraction would have gone and what will they be left with? Wrinkles or plastic surgery.

What beauty is there in today's stars are purely sexual. The dignity and pride are gone the moment their clothes are off. If AFI's 50 legends were only pretty, they wouldn't have make it to that list. They made it there because people have something to remember them by.

...................

Just got a very fine copy of Bjork's Vespertine today. Bought it from half.com for 5 bucks. Considering how epic and wondrous this album is, it's a steal!!

As I listen to the songs, and looking at my blog, I was suddenly struck by an epiphany about myself and couldn't help thinking, "I am a pretty gloomy guy." Well, I didn't mean it like 'gloomy' as in 'constantly sad and depressed', but my overall taste on everything: movie, music, game, aesthetical designs, etc., is... well, 'dark'. I always cater to the underdog, the muted and silence in the design and color of our universe and my surroundings. For example, just now I was thinking of picking up a new template for my blog, after browsing through a few, I end up returning to this template because... the other templates are too bright and colorful. Maybe that's why I also ended up loving Bjork's music. (btw, in case you haven't noticed, the title of this blog and the small lines beneath it are taken from Bjork songs, 'All is Full of Love' and 'Hidden Place.') Her songs, like Enya, are just beautiful. It's ever so rare there are songs that I can close my eyes to and let myself drifted away by their sounds. The songs I love most are those that have an undercurrent beneath them that flows through me and pours into me, and then... they kept echoing inside me.

What have I written?

I was just re-reading that last paragraph and was dazed at what I was writing there. How weird. Is it the magnitude of the moment? Well, actually, it isn't so much as magnitude as it is peaceful. It's 2:00 PM now, the sky is cloudy and looks like it's going to rain. I'm alone at my apartment right now, the trees are still bald from autumn, and the usually strong gusts that blow outside are still now.

How Zen.

Maybe that's the other problem with me: I daydream too much.

But daydream or not, it's times like these that I can feel the divine seeps in, and I couldn't help but feel gratitude to Allah SWT for hushing the chaos of my world and painting it with silence.

My existence is Yours. And this is my hidden place.

Start panicking!

First of all, I just want to say that this eblogger site can be a real pain in the ass. Sometimes I can access my blog straightaway, other times not. And when I can't, I have to re-login, MANY times unsuccessfully. I've banged my keyboard several times because of times. For F sakes, I'm lazy enough as it is to update this blog, and all this problem are NOT helping at all!!

rants aside,... no, screw that, I still want to rant. It's 3:42 AM now. I just had a few hours sleep before midnight so the drowsiness has not re-settled yet. I had finished my Bibliography paper that I have to submit in a few hours time. I don't know if I had got it all correctly, but I'm hoping for the best. I thought this class would be a piece of cake, because, heck, it's only about citing sources and stuff. You know, making acknowledgements and all. Turns out it was quite a living hell. I think this class will be the death of me. Fortunately, one of my friends (a very nice -and pretty to boot- girl named Ginger) asked me to come along to the library to join in the discussion with some others on making the paper. Apparently, I'm not the only one having trouble with the class and the papers, which was a huge relief. If it weren't for them, my paper would've been a total mess. Well, it still is anyway, but I'm sure it's much, much better now with my friends' help. But looking back now and counting the total time it took me to finish this paper... I think it took me around 15 hours to finish this paper. 15 hours! Just to make 10 citations! If it took me this long just to make 10 citations I shudder to think how long it will take me to finish my major project...

Okay, this week will probably be my busiest one yet. First there's a paper on TWO critical essays on Aphra Behn's works I have to finish for next Monday, which will ALSO be my turn to do the oral presentation in the class, and then there's a 100+ lines of Beowulf I have to translate, then there's a transcription assignment plus textual criticism on some woman's letter (I forgot her name) concerning the ballot or voting system in... colonial America was it? I don't even remember. And oh, don't forget to finish reading The Rover. And for the love of God and all that's sacred in my puny life, START WORKING ON THE MAJOR PROJECT!! Lastly, if it's possible, squeeze in a few hours of Neverwinter Nights 2 or God mode in God of War (video games... how could I bear life without you...).

Yikes! I better start cracking.

Going to sleep now.

"Mak Uncu Amud"

Hehee... my sister-in-law just gave birth to a girl not so long ago. I'm an uncle! Hmmm... karena aku orang Minang, trus dalam keluarga aku anak laki2 yg paling kecil, jadi aku nanti bakal dipanggil Mak Uncu sama ponakanku. "Mak Uncu Amud"... heheh, that sounds weird. anyway, congrats to B.Tau n K.Mimi atas kelahiran bayinya. Insya Allah kelahiran anak tsb membawa berkah n karunia n kebahagiaan ke dalam rumah tangga. I'm just real glad that my parents now, finally, they have a grandchild. The first grandchild! More to come soon! Huahahaha. Sekarang tinggal nunggu kelahiran ponakan yg di Medan aja nih, Insya Allah K.Inda melahirkan dgn selamat dah!

I read this book about our Minang customs and tradition a few years ago. Actually in the past, the "Mamak" (the uncle) has quite a big responsibility to his niece/nephew. He has to teach them about the Minang tradition, family tradition, religion, and he also has a considerable say in the child's education. That's quite a heck of responsibility. If that tradition still applies today, I would have quite a huge task ahead of me. I mean, I'm having trouble enough as it is dealing with my life's mess, much less having to take care of my niece's growth. Yowza!

Anyhow, I'll be expecting a lot assignments in the coming weeks, so I better prepare myself from now. And I need to tidy up things here at my blog!

4 weeks absence!!

It turns out, I neglected my blog for 4 weeks! 4 weeks! That's a month! oh, man, I gotta be more serious about doing this.

okay, let's see...

1. The new semester already starts, I have one night class for 3 hours, but that's okay cos' there's a 20-minute break. And just as I thought, this semester looks going to be a busy one. Granted, there are no exams in any of the class I'm taking (cheers to that!) but there's a weekly assignment, lots of books to read each week, and lots of oral presentations. God, I hate those. I don't know why, really. I mean, I'm a lecturer for god's sake, why do I always have trouble speaking up in class and get all sweaty whenever it's my turn to talk. But I'm learning. And I pray I'll improve.

2. I'm currently playing Rule of Rose. Nice enough game. Good presentation too. but like some people have said, it's quite frustrating and a bit dull. It reminds me of Lady in the Water. lots of things don't make sense, but you're still hooked to it. This is one gem that could have been much better had it not been so flawed. After this, I'm planning to move on to Okami.