Naga Bonar? More like, Naga Modar...

If you’re a fan of Deddy Mizwar, beware. Well, it’s not as if one would stumble upon this blog, but… meh, beware anyway.

Kayaknya udah bukan rahasia lagi lah kalo dunia politik negaraku nan tercinta ini udah kayak one big Srimulat show (remember that one?). Orang-orang gila (they’re not literally nuts, but figuratively speaking) yang pengin jadi caleg betebaran banyaknya kayak nyamuk: mereka dimana-mana! Lariiii! Aagh, mana Autan ku? Completely unknown and nameless people became caleg all of a sudden, their stupidly grinning faces plastered on posters of their parties, all innocuously, deceivingly, essentially saying the same thing: that they promise that they’ll fight for the good and aspiration of the common people. Yeah, right. I’ve been hearing those lines since 10 years ago, so what’s new? Enter Deddy Mizwar, the latest celebrity-turned-politician on the road intent on becoming (surprise!) the next President. To be honest, I never liked Deddy Mizwar. But I’ve always had respect towards him as a senior actor with at least the slightest idea of what he’s doing with his job, and he’s also reasonably religious and low-profile. Well, not anymore, he ain’t. Reading the Sunday newspaper today, I came upon an article that pretty much shed all those pre-notions I’ve had about him and induced disgust and resentment, those exact same feelings I have towards other countless celebrities-turned-politicians out there in my country.

Apparently, Deddy Mizwar proclaiming his intention to become the next capres caused quite a stir in the medias. Critiques, both negative and positive, sprouted here and there. And when he’s asked his reaction on the negative ones, he “menanggapinya dengan tenang. ‘Ponari saja sendirian bisa menciptakan harapan,’ kata Deddy.” Wait a minute… Ponari? Isn’t that that dukun cilik yang banyak kali dihebohkan orang akhir-akhir ini? The one that was rumored to have miraculous healing ability thanks to his… *guffaws* …his… ‘healing stone’? The one that attracted thousands of poor, sick people because of the medicinal power of said stone (and the cheap consultation price, mind you)? The one that was recently begun to be doubted of his powers (I made it sound much grander than it really is) because almost none of the people that went for his… um, medication, really experienced any recovery in their condition? The smugly grinning brat that I saw a couple of days ago on TV, who brandished his brand-new, latest Sony Cybershot camera that stood out like a sore thumb inside his modest SD Negeri classroom during a class session while his classmates and teacher looked on in annoyance? Is this the person you are making an analogy to, Deddy Mizwar? Is this the person that you used to justify your intention to become the next president? Then that has to be the single most profoundly idiotic and baseless statement in the messed up world of profoundly idiotic and baseless statements of my country’s politics I’ve ever heard. You, a person who aspires to be the next president, the next leader of this country that I love, is justifying yourself to a… dukun? And not just any dukun, a child one! You are no different than that dukun cilik, and all those caleg that I saw on those eyesores that are banners, gigantic and small, that pollute cities all throughout the country. Your statement speaks for your entire aspirations that you want to say to the people. You and other celebritites-turned-politicians (henceforth referred to as ‘OCTP’) attracted a lot of people but only give false hope. You and OCTP give cheap, attractive sideshow in the political scene without even really intending to make an impact or improvement. You and OCTP do not have the capabilities to do so. You and OCTP are only in it for the money and popularity. After the dust settled and by some incomprehensible miracle you managed to win, I have no doubt that the people will see you and OCTP with brand-new and expensive playthings in your hand, much like Ponari with his new camera.

If there are people out there who think I’m a smart-ass, I say this: I’m no politician. I’m only an ordinary man, like the hundreds of millions other ordinary people of my country. An ordinary man who bluntly expresses his feelings toward those people who claimed to really care about the country and the people but, in fact, really don’t. An ordinary man who just want someone who leads by example, not words. It’s unfathomable how much people don’t understand this simple statement. Until the next messiah of my country appears, I’ll just stay in my coffin and sleep for another hundred years, enjoying my sleep in bliss and saving myself a lot of frustration in the process. In the meantime, you, Mr. Mizwar, are just a hack.