2009 will be a great year to watch movies in the cinemas...

...unless you happen to be living in my hometown, where the latest movies always have the word "pocong" or "hantu" in them, and the latest Hollywood flick to be watched here are Hellboy II and... Dragonball Evolution. *shivers*

Recession bites, and weirdly enough, this is one of the places where I felt it bit the deepest. No new movies. Nada. After I got back from the US in September, the newest movie was Sex and the City. And oh, about a month ago, 27 Dresses was finally playing in cinemas! Uh... yay? So what do I do? There are movies, and there are movies that I simply must watch in cinemas. Doubt was among them. I stubbornly waited for it to be played here, but then realized I just might as well wait for humanity to proceed to the next step of evolution and developed supernatural abilities, so I submit to the inevitable: buy the bootlegged DVD. Oh, wait. The DVD's not out yet! Ergo, bootlegged.

What can one poor man do?

Well, I'll just put up a list of movies that I want to watch in 2009 here. Hopefully, at least #1 will make it to the theaters here...

1. Up (May). Pixar's upcoming movie. 'Nuff said.
2. Where The Wild Things Are (October). Directed by the ever whimsical Spike Jonze. And since I love his works, (except his last movie The Fall, which seriously fell flat on its own rapture) I simply have to watch it. The trailer reminds me so much of The Neverending Story, another favorite childhood movie of mine.
3. Away We Go (June). Directed by Sam Mendes, who directed American Beauty, personally the best movie yet I've ever seen in my life.
4. Terminator Salvation (May). Under such stressful times today, I bet a lot of people feel they could just blow stuffs up. I'll just watch this movie.
5. Drag Me to Hell (May). I've been having a bad case of horror movie itch lately. I hope Sam Raimi can scratch it with this.

And... that's that! For now, at least.

Why, thank you!

Staring half-sleepily into my monitor last night, I was basking in the ether of Enya's Isobella while browsing Amazon.com, looking at stuffs that I don't have the money for nor need. The sound quality of this file isn't too good, I thought to myself. Too bad for one of Enya's best. So I looked up Isobella in the "mp3 download" section of Amazon and was surprised that the rare track's actually there for download for $0.99. Not that I can purchase it, I said. My bank account's absolutely dried up. Minus, even. So absent-mindedly I hovered my cursor to the "Buy Now" button and clicked on it. All of a sudden a window popped up asking me where I would like to save the file to. I stared at my screen in disbelief. Is this for real? I was hesitant for a moment, but then, ah, what the heck. So I just saved the file to my hard drive... and the song was immediately downloaded. Before I could recover from my confusion and amazement, my laptop made that cheery 'ding!' indicative of the file done being downloaded. I'll probably get in trouble for this, I thought, and sure enough, today I got an email from Amazon asking me that my card's been declined and that I need to update my method of payment. I borrowed my Pa's credit card to settle this, ("I'm a fraud! I have made an illegal transaction!" I laughed all the while) and inquired Amazon how I could pay up for the song. Not long after that, they sent me an email saying that they could not charge me because of "accounting and security reasons", so finally they said (grudgingly, I assume) :

"...you can keep the downloaded track as free gift from Amazon.com."

Wow. If I had known this would happen, I would have bought a whole album!

What are ya tryin' ta pull?

At night. I was alone. My cellphone rang. I picked it up and saw an unknown number on the screen. Could be something important.

'Halo?'
'Halo Bang, ini aku.' said a woman's voice at the other end.
'Apa?' I didn't recognize that voice.
'Ini aku loh, Bang. Bang aku kasihan lah sama si Enny, dia lagi dalam masalah...' and she proceeds to talk in a very concerned voice about someone named Enny who seemed to be in trouble. I just sat there listening incredulously, frowning, but my fuse had already been lit.
'Ini siapa?' I demanded, cutting her short.
There was a reluctant pause at the other end.
'Ini aku Bang.' she said.
'Ya SIAPA? Mau cari SIAPA?' I raised my voice. By this time I was already completely annoyed.
'...Cari Enny, Bang.' Wasn't this Enny the name of the person she was talking about? And now she said she was looking for her? Then why did she talk to me all this time? Oh, what, so I'm a woman now?
'Aku kasihan lah sama dia...'
'Salah sambung.' I said as coldly as humanely possible, and slammed my cellphone down.
Ten seconds later it rang again. Same number. I should've just ignored it, but I think I needed to make it clear to the idiot at the other end that her call is unwanted. And part of me was enjoying this. So I answered.
'Halo.'
'Tapi nomornya kayaknya betul lah Bang...' The same woman.
'MAU CARI SIAPA.' I bellowed.
'Cari Enny, Bang... '
'ENNY SIAPA?!'
'Enny, Bang. Aku kasihan lah sama dia...' Now this woman sounded like a broken record and an idiot. But I didn't need to hear anymore. A flood of profanities swelled to the tip of my tongue, but I am a person with the unfortunate tendency of losing his words when in fury. So I just hanged up.
The same number called me again twice after that, but I ignored it.

What an absolute idiot. Did she think I would fall for that? But I suppose you gotta hand it to these tele-frauds, they sure don't give up easily. Good thing, too, that I read that piece of article in Waspada (see? I read newspapers!) about this new kind of modus operandi. These people would call you, blurted out one name that they hoped by one huge miracle happened to be the name of a person that you do happen to know, then they would say this person was in trouble and need money quickly, and then they would ask you to send that money. Riiiight...

What mystifies me is, why do these phone-scammers always have a lot of trouble distinguishing people's sexes from their voice? My friend, who was having a cold at the time, one day received one such call. The person at the other end kept on and on blabbering about someone in trouble, and all the while he kept addressing my friend as "Bang".

My friend is female.

Needless to say, she was pissed.

Like I said, what an absolute idiot.

Naga Bonar? More like, Naga Modar...

If you’re a fan of Deddy Mizwar, beware. Well, it’s not as if one would stumble upon this blog, but… meh, beware anyway.

Kayaknya udah bukan rahasia lagi lah kalo dunia politik negaraku nan tercinta ini udah kayak one big Srimulat show (remember that one?). Orang-orang gila (they’re not literally nuts, but figuratively speaking) yang pengin jadi caleg betebaran banyaknya kayak nyamuk: mereka dimana-mana! Lariiii! Aagh, mana Autan ku? Completely unknown and nameless people became caleg all of a sudden, their stupidly grinning faces plastered on posters of their parties, all innocuously, deceivingly, essentially saying the same thing: that they promise that they’ll fight for the good and aspiration of the common people. Yeah, right. I’ve been hearing those lines since 10 years ago, so what’s new? Enter Deddy Mizwar, the latest celebrity-turned-politician on the road intent on becoming (surprise!) the next President. To be honest, I never liked Deddy Mizwar. But I’ve always had respect towards him as a senior actor with at least the slightest idea of what he’s doing with his job, and he’s also reasonably religious and low-profile. Well, not anymore, he ain’t. Reading the Sunday newspaper today, I came upon an article that pretty much shed all those pre-notions I’ve had about him and induced disgust and resentment, those exact same feelings I have towards other countless celebrities-turned-politicians out there in my country.

Apparently, Deddy Mizwar proclaiming his intention to become the next capres caused quite a stir in the medias. Critiques, both negative and positive, sprouted here and there. And when he’s asked his reaction on the negative ones, he “menanggapinya dengan tenang. ‘Ponari saja sendirian bisa menciptakan harapan,’ kata Deddy.” Wait a minute… Ponari? Isn’t that that dukun cilik yang banyak kali dihebohkan orang akhir-akhir ini? The one that was rumored to have miraculous healing ability thanks to his… *guffaws* …his… ‘healing stone’? The one that attracted thousands of poor, sick people because of the medicinal power of said stone (and the cheap consultation price, mind you)? The one that was recently begun to be doubted of his powers (I made it sound much grander than it really is) because almost none of the people that went for his… um, medication, really experienced any recovery in their condition? The smugly grinning brat that I saw a couple of days ago on TV, who brandished his brand-new, latest Sony Cybershot camera that stood out like a sore thumb inside his modest SD Negeri classroom during a class session while his classmates and teacher looked on in annoyance? Is this the person you are making an analogy to, Deddy Mizwar? Is this the person that you used to justify your intention to become the next president? Then that has to be the single most profoundly idiotic and baseless statement in the messed up world of profoundly idiotic and baseless statements of my country’s politics I’ve ever heard. You, a person who aspires to be the next president, the next leader of this country that I love, is justifying yourself to a… dukun? And not just any dukun, a child one! You are no different than that dukun cilik, and all those caleg that I saw on those eyesores that are banners, gigantic and small, that pollute cities all throughout the country. Your statement speaks for your entire aspirations that you want to say to the people. You and other celebritites-turned-politicians (henceforth referred to as ‘OCTP’) attracted a lot of people but only give false hope. You and OCTP give cheap, attractive sideshow in the political scene without even really intending to make an impact or improvement. You and OCTP do not have the capabilities to do so. You and OCTP are only in it for the money and popularity. After the dust settled and by some incomprehensible miracle you managed to win, I have no doubt that the people will see you and OCTP with brand-new and expensive playthings in your hand, much like Ponari with his new camera.

If there are people out there who think I’m a smart-ass, I say this: I’m no politician. I’m only an ordinary man, like the hundreds of millions other ordinary people of my country. An ordinary man who bluntly expresses his feelings toward those people who claimed to really care about the country and the people but, in fact, really don’t. An ordinary man who just want someone who leads by example, not words. It’s unfathomable how much people don’t understand this simple statement. Until the next messiah of my country appears, I’ll just stay in my coffin and sleep for another hundred years, enjoying my sleep in bliss and saving myself a lot of frustration in the process. In the meantime, you, Mr. Mizwar, are just a hack.

Sit a spell and tell a tale.

As usual, I was frying my brains out working on my paper tonight when all of a sudden I remember this story from Black Isle's Planescape: Torment RPG I played some time ago. It was a very short tale actually, told by one of your companions in the game during a conversation. But it was very absorbing and deeply mesmerizing, and I absolutely like it, so I thought I would share it here for those who haven't played it. I hesitated for a second and stared at my unfinished assignment on my laptop screen. Sensing my intention to procrastinate, it grumbled and told me, "Hold that thought." Silence for a few seconds, then it threw up its hands in annoyance, "Oh, like you care what I said!!" I nodded and said, "Be right back." So here it is, the short story from the PC RPG Planescape: Torment, in the exact words as it is told in the game. Enjoy and ponder.

"An elderly man was sitting alone on a dark path. He wasn't certain of which direction to go, and he'd forgotten both where he was going and who he was. He'd sat down for a moment to rest his weary legs, and suddenly looked up to see an elderly woman before him. She grinned toothlessly and with a cackle, spoke: 'Now your *third* wish. What will it be?'"

"'Third wish?' The man was baffled. 'How can it be a third wish if I haven't had a second and first wish?'"

"'You've had two wishes already,' the hag said. 'But your second wish was for me to return everything to the way it was before you had made your first wish. That's why you remember nothing; because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes.' She cackled at the poor berk. 'So it is that you have one wish left.'"

"'All right,' said the man. 'I don't believe this, but there's no harm in wishing. I wish to know who I am.'"

"'Funny,' said the old woman as she granted his wish and disappeared forever. 'That was your first wish.'"

Me and la cucaracha; or: Thou shalt move thine arse off the floor to hath something accomplisheth.

This post is originally from last year, but strangely I never got around to posting it. So, since I'm scrounging for unpublished posts in my archive, I decided to have this forgotten little gem posted.

Before I write down what I originally meant to write here, I want to tell a rather... gross experience I just had several minutes ago:

I was sitting cross-legged on the floor, writing an email to my friend. All of a sudden a dark brown, shiny, pretty big cockroach came scuttling towards me at a quite high speed. I made a sweeping glance at the room lazily, and seeing nothing within reach that I can use to kill the cockroach, I raised my left hand and slammed my fist on it, killing it instantly. "PWNED!!" I scoffed in self-satisfaction.

...................
.........................

There was a sort of pregnant pause after that moment as I stared at my left hand (wet with cockroach innards) and then to the squished cockroach. As I washed my hand, I grumbled to myself, "What the hell was I thinking?" I should think that, had I a normal mind, my brain would have instructed me to got up quickly and look for something that would fit the job. But no! Apparently my laziness got the better of me so my brain said, "Oh, there's no cockroach-killing instrument nearby, so I will just use my left hand."

I don't know which is more gross: my laziness, or the fact that I used my hand to squish a cockroach. This post is gross, I don't know why I wrote this down. I'll just write what I originally meant to write in another post.

Ugh! Seriously.

The longest search is the most satisfying one.

Ain't internet grand? After about 10+ years, I finally found the ending song for that silly '80s anime Time Quest, or originally titled Time Travel Tondekeman. The anime was first aired in Indonesia sometime in mid '90s by Indosiar. I've always loved the song, but have no idea nor the means to know what the title nor who the singer was. Now, with the help of the internet, I finally found that song! I feel so nostalgic... Pidip pidip pidip terbaang... teko ajaib...!!