'Beowulf' my ass.

My big bro asked me to talk about the Beowulf movie and what differences it has with the original source material, since I took a course studying the original epic poem of the same title last semester. What a coincidence! I was just about to talk about it too. But, agh, let me say here first that movie was NOT the way I imagined the epic poem would be like if it were adapted into a Hollywood movie. But I guess that's just the way it is with Hollywood today, isn't it? Leaving the cinema, I had a kind of mixed feelings towards the movie. The kind you would get if you combined glee, boredom, ludicrousness, disappointment, anger, and delight into a cocktail and drink it in one gulp. It was a fine action flick... no, mediocre would be the best word. No matter how realistic looking the animated characters were, they still look really plastic-fake, but mainly because their animation still looks very, very unconvincing (one horse-riding sequence in particular comes to mind). The animations were as realistic as any 10-year old video game CGI (well, not THAT bad, but still); the facial expressions never really achieve the desired 'uumph!' effect; and the dialogs were dull. The characters and story... were so mangled it's almost unrecognizable from the original poem. I suppose I should talk about those now, but fortunately for you, I'm the kind of guy who loathed spoilers and spoiling other people's enjoyments. For your anti-spoilers convenience, the next entry's texts will be darkened to avoid accidental plot spills. Highlight them with Ctrl-A or your mouse. If the white highlighting make your eyes hurt, just copy-paste the text to a wordpad or MS Word. The next entry WILL contain spoilers on the movie's plot twists, so if you're planning to watch the movie and don't want me to ruin it for you, then read no further. If, however, you want to witness my sick enjoyment of picking on the latest piece of mediocrity Hollywood has to offer, then by all means, please proceed.

********WARNING!! SPOILERS BEGIN HERE!!*********

Beowulf:
In the poem, Beowulf is your typical hero: strong, just, brave, etc. In the movie, he's strong, brave, loud (literally), and had about 5 times the libido of his poem counterpart.
Here is the short version of his story in the poem: he went to Denmark to kill Grendel, fought it single-handedly, bare-handed, unarmored, killed it by crushing it in his armlock and broke its arm with his hands, then chopped off Grendel's mother's head, was rewarded by Hrothgar (the king whose kingdom Grendel pestered), returned to his homeland and people (which, by the way, is pronounced YEAT, not GEAT. Ignorance is a virtue, eh Hollywood?), became king, was NOT married, did NOT adopt Christianity, died fighting the dragon when the big thing chomped his throat, and was buried inside a burial mound.
Here is the movie version: he went to Denmark, got the hots on Hrothgar's queen Wealhtheow, fought Grendel completely nude (I guess the writer took that "unarmored" part way too literally), killed it by bashing its head in and breaking its arm by using a door, seduced by Grendel's mom with her promise of great fame and fortune, then slept with her (hey, it's a naked Angelina Jolie!), lied about having killed her to the Danes, became king of Denmark after Hrothgar threw himself off a balcony, married his queen, got another girlfriend, fought the dragon who (here's the killer part) turned out to be his son from Grendel's mom, died by falling to his death in an aerial battle with the dragon, and buried by being sent off in a burning ship.
The movie portrayed Beowulf as a corrupt, horny man whose undoing was the result of his past sins. But I guess it's the writer's way of trying to humanize him, showing him as no different as any other ordinary man, who prone to succumb to temptation, unlike the near-flawless, superhuman poem-version hero. For this, I guess, they deserve a little credit. Your mileage may vary.

Hrothgar:
The short version of the poem: Hrothgar was a just, upright Danish king, loved by his people and queen, rewarded Beowulf for killing Grendel and its mom, then lived happily ever after. The end.
The movie version? Modeled after my favorite actor Anthony Hopkins, Hrothgar's portrayal was ridiculous it's unbelievable. He's a sad, fat old king, almost lecherous, a red-nosed drunkard, loathed by his queen, and turned out to have (here's another killer part) slept with Grendel's mom, and was actually Grendel's father (gasp!), and died throwing himself off a balcony after declaring Beowulf as his successor. The end.
This is one of the most ridiculous adaptation of the poem's version. So sad. Ah, well. Moving on.

Wealhtheow:
Pronounced like "Welkhtheow", Hrothgar's queen didn't have a big part in the poem. She's just a normal damsel-in-distress type. She was impressed by Beowulf's bravery and applaud him for getting rid of the monsters. She loved her husband, and she most definitely DID NOT marry Beowulf. The movie shows her as just a sad, monochrome beautiful woman who hated her husband, denied her feelings for Beowulf, but in the end turned out to have loved him always. Not much to say about her, really.

Unferth:
Hrothgar's right-hand man, Unferth's characterization was surprisingly the most accurate one in the movie, compared to others. He mocked Beowulf, then acknowledged his skills after he defeated Grendel, gave his sword Hrunting to Beowulf to kill Grendel's mom, it broke when it hit her neck, and... that's it. The movie showed him becoming a Christian priest in the latter part of the story, which did not happen in the poem.

Grendel's mother:
Quite possibly the most famous character in the movie (I love her music theme), the poem version of this she-demon was that she only killed (possibly) one soldier, wrestled with Beowulf underwater, and got her head chopped off by an ancient sword Beowulf found underwater after Hrunting broke. Nice.
What about the movie version? Well, how about this: The Devil Wears Prada. Literally. The movie at first showed glimpses of her as a hideous demon, but when she showed herself to Beowulf, she's Angelina Jolie in high heels!! Oh, and she's nude! Well, except for a few particular naughty parts of her body which was covered in gold liquid. I could almost feel a collective relieved sigh reverberating inside the room... or was it disappointment?
Anyway, Ma Jolie was pissed that Beowulf killed her son, so what did she do to get even? She slept with him, had his son (who's able to morph into a dragon), then sent the boy out to set his dad's pants on fire. I swear, people can do so complicated things when they want revenge...
Did she die? Oh, nooo. Why would they do that? She kissed Beowulf in the burial ship as it sunk burning, then showed herself to Wiglaf with a face that pretty much says, "Nyah, nyah. Your king was a liar and he bedded me. So much for your righteous king!" Sigh.
The poem portrays Grendel's mother as a fierce figure of feminine power, taking up the task of wreaking vengeance against the people who had wronged her, which, in Anglo-Saxon-Germanic culture, was left only for the men to do. Women were never expected to take up arms or commit violent acts, especially against men. She is an antithesis to the weak, helpless Wealhtheow. Angelina Jolie's Grendel's mother, however, is not a warrior. She's just a whore. Her strength lies in her sexual prowess and skill as a seductress. It's like comparing Uma Thurman's Kill Bill character with Paris Hilton. There's no contest!
Oh, I'm sure she could have whooped (the movie) Beowulf silly with her magical powers, but that wouldn't make much of a story, now would it?

Wiglaf:
I'm not really sure, but in the movie, Wiglaf was Beowulf's friend. Originally, he was Beowulf's cousin, or related to him. His name was first made known near the very end of the poem, he helped Beowulf fought the dragon, giving Beowulf a chance to kill the dragon before he died. Beowulf appointed him to be his successor in his death, and he became the king of the dying Geats, whose future was uncertain. Wiglaf was one of the 14 men who first came to Denmark with Beowulf to fight Grendel. And actually, only one of those 14 men died, killed by Grendel. In the movie, all of them except Wiglaf died under Grendel and his mom's onslaught. His personality does match my image of his poem counterpart, though.

Other differences:
1. The dragon was NOT Beowulf's son. In the poem he was just this primal animal who lived in a cave filled with treasures of past kings. A thief (who, according to my professor, was one of the 14 men that came with Beowulf to Denmark) stumbled on his hoard, stole a treasure (a jeweled goblet), and when the dragon found out, he went crazy and proceeded to lay waste to Beowulf's land. Sounds familiar? Yep, Tolkien took the inspiration for The Hobbit from this part of the poem. The peeved dragon Smaug took flight and burned the lands when he found out that Bilbo had stolen one of his treasures. Back to Beowulf, the dragon was the bastard son of Beowulf and Grendel's ma, and was used by her to get vengeance on him. He died when Beowulf stabbed him with a sword, but in the movie he died after his heart ripped out by Beowulf. How dramatic.

2. Beowulf's girlfriend. She is my least favorite character, as she really has no purpose for existing in the story other than as a pretty prop piece. I can't even remember what her name was, or even if it was mentioned in the movie. No, Beowulf did not have a girlfriend in the poem. Apparently, after marrying Wealhtheow, Beowulf took a much younger woman in as a concubine or something. Hmph. Really, why the writers even put her in the movie completely mystifies me, other than, perhaps, to serve as a banter fodder for Wealhtheow.

3. Christianity. I'm not 100% sure about this, but from what I've seen from crosses on rooftops and Unferth wearing a large conspicuous cross around his neck, the Danes had adopted Christianity during Beowulf's rulership. Actually, the Geats, Danes, and Frisians depicted in the poem were still strongly pagan. Some scholars agree that Beowulf was the poet's tribute to his/her pagan ancestors. The poet was completely unknown, but he/she most likely lived during early period of Christianity. Since in Christianity it's impossible to put pagans in a high place of honor, the poem is the poet's tribute to the greatness of his/her ancestors, for them to be remembered as great, honorable people, worthy of respect and remembrance. That's the gist of it.

*************SPOILERS STOP HERE**************

Easter eggs:
Well, I don't really know what else to call it. If you watch the movie, pay attention to the gibberish language Grendel speaks. He spoke sporadic Anglo-Saxon (Old English) words, but it's difficult for me to clearly hear what he says, since he spoke in a garbled, mumbled voice. The only one I can discern was his first word, "Modor...?" (Mother), and I think he said "minne" (my). Also, in a celebration scene, hear the bard's language. It's a speech lifted wholesale from the original poem. I can't remember accurately, but I think it's probably somewhere near line 757-770 of the poem. If you want to read it here's the link:
http://www.heorot.dk/beowulf-rede-text.html

Final thoughts:
Lousy adaptation. Mediocre action flick. Forgettable at best. Go watch it if you want. I watched it in 3D for 5 bucks, so I think I got my money's worth.

Fatal Frame IV!!!

I know I'm supposed to talk about that writer's block thing in the next post, but screw that. And I know people probably won't give a rat's ass of what I'm going to talk about, so screw them. I just found out from my friend that a new Fatal Frame is in development!! I checked the internet, and sure enough, there's the news, staring at me in the face: the next Fatal Frame has been announced!!... YES! Thank you oh God!! ...for the Wii!! YES!!! ...wait a minute, what?!
For those in the not-know, Fatal Frame is a Japanese horror game that have you fighting ghosts with a camera. Okay, I know that doesn't sound very scary, but let me explain. The series takes place in a Japanese settings, and the theme of the horror is very heavily in the style and nuance of that culture. You always play as a young girl trapped in some big mansion haunted by insane hostile ghosts, and the only way to defeat them is to use the mystical camera you have to exorcise them. Ever since the first game, I already fall in love with it, and ever since have been an uber-fan of the series. IMO, it's the most frightening and immersive horror series I've ever played.
The last game was released way back in 2005, and I've been scouring the internet
since looking for the tiniest bits of information for the next game. Imagine my excitement upon hearing this news! But... why for the Wii? The series have only been released for the PS2 and Xbox before, why Wii? Most likely, the creators have found a new way of utilizing the Wii-mote to create a wholly new gameplay for the series. It would be interesting to use the Wii-mote as a camera, or shake your hands wildly to release yourself from a ghost's grip.
Another thing that interests me also is that the game will be developed with the help of Grasshopper Manufacture. Yes, the very same company who made the outrageously weird and totally screwball-ed but stylish game Killer 7. This is very intriguing news. Who knows how the next Fatal Frame game will turn out when it's finished?
I have no plan to buy the Wii console before. But now... God, if there's one game that will make me buy a Wii it will be this game. I LOVE the series that much!! I don't care if I have to fork over $250 to buy a Wii console, but I WILL play this game!! Thankfully, it won't be anytime soon for the game's release (I predict early 2009 at best here). So now would be a good time to whip out good ol' piggy bank and start saving!

(mutters to self unintelligibly)

...officially, it's pretty much safe to say that updating my blog has become one of the many sad excuses I have for putting off my work. Assignments. Papers. Readings. (yawn)
Like now, for instance, I have 3 papers (and if my sense of foreboding would prove true in the following week - 4) coming up in the next 3 weeks, and I have done... shall I say, unsatisfactory, attempts to get them done. I'm still waiting for the proverbial sledge hammer to hit me in the face (not the head) as my wake up call just so I could get a grip with the situation in hand.

Considering said situation, however, I would need more than a sledge hammer. Inspiration and energy have been fleeting at best lately. Maybe a train or a capsized ship. Hmm. Or maybe I could just tie myself to a chair (it would be quite a feat, that) in my study room at the library and throw away my apartment's keys into a fissure in the ground somewhere that ran all the way through the other side of the earth.

Argh, what the hell am I rambling? For the next 72 hours I'm planning to spend all night at the library doing these papers. And if THAT won't help either, then may academic judgment fell upon me and roast me to cinders for being lazy as a grad student. Seriously. It's not enough that I have to combat my laziness, now the very elements has risen to test me too. Fall's chilly wind starting to blow again, and I could swear it brought along some of the sandman's sleeping powder to my eyes. The wind-blown tree leafs outside the windows are trying to shoo me away from the library and whispered that it's better to stay in the warm inside of my apartment. But a metaphorical siren has perched herself on my bed's head, luring me to sleep whenever I looked at my bed. And always, like an entranced sailor, I submit to the song and crashed myself into the rocks. Arr, she be a devil, that bed. Monsters! There are monsters everywhere now. Life's always hell when you made it out to be. I rarely can concentrate on studying now in my apartment. I need to get out of here.

I'm rambling again. Anyhow, I should consider myself lucky, considering the horrifying writer's block I had a couple of weeks back. Oh yeah, trust me. There ain't nothing more horrible in this world to a grad student than a writer's block. I'll write up about it in the next post (shivers...), this post is already too long.



(later note:)
I should stop writing pointless posts like this in the future.

Note to self: more studying. Less (and I DO mean LESS, me-idiot!) rambling.

A requiem from hell.

There's no doubt about it, I'm a new fan of Darren Aronofsky's works. For those who don't know, he's the guy who made that 2006 sci-fi movie "The Fountain" (starring Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz). The movie got good reviews, but didn't seem to do very well commercially. I watched it on DVD anyway and absolutely loved it, mind-bending and bewildering as it is. An hour ago I just finished watching his earlier movie, "Requiem for a Dream", which shows the lives of four people struggling with their various drug addictions. When I popped in the DVD, I was greeted with a menu in the style of those annoying daytime TV commercials. You know, this item blahblahblah only $9.95 plus $4.95 shipping and handling blahblahblah, those kinds of stuff. Very interesting, I thought, but what piqued my interest so was the fact that I could feel my "disturbing-stuff!" sensor flaring up the moment I saw that menu. And so I turned off the lights and watched the movie. Boy, was I in for a hell ride. This has to be the most disturbing, depressing, and dark movie I've ever seen since "Dancer In The Dark" (another indie movie starring the-ever-phenomenal Bjork). But unlike the sublimely beautiful DITD, this movie pulled no punches. It's a harrowing and suicidal journey with shots of dilated pupils, white powders, spinning lights, and sweat-drenched pale faces and black eyes scattered liberally throughout. At first impression, the movie might come off as looking cheap and very indie, as it was hazy, smoky, and jittery. But it's clear that the director wanted to show this film as though it is seen through the eyes of a junkie, complete with rapid, erratic shots, visual and aural distortions. The performances were terrific, the music effective, the pacing got more and more furious and stomach-churning as it went. This sounds trite but true, but this movie is a real eye-opener of the danger of drugs and its addictions. It's a jolt of shock to the head (literally), and will leave you with cement in your stomach after. If you're into fun, light-hearted movie, stay away. But I would urge you nonetheless to give this movie a chance and watch it if you can. Heck, I'm already planning to add this to my DVD collection.
While I do think that this is not a movie that I will see myself watching repeatedly, this movie sticks and haunts my head. And what's best, it scared the living shit out of me about drug addictions. And just for that, it deserves a special place in my collection.

Iostars.

A few people have asked me what does Iostars mean. I've been using that name for pretty much all my accounts on the internet: email, Friendster, eBay account, Amazon account, etc. I came up with that word when I made my first email account, like, 12 years ago (gasp!). I don't know, it just clicked, so I kinda stuck to it ever since then. It's really a combination of two words: Io and stars. A lot of people often mistook the capital [I] for a low-cap [L]. Why Io (read: ai-yo)? Well, at first I chose it because I just like the sound, but today, that word has become an embodiment of a string of coincidences in my life and around the world revolving around the number four/4 and the planet Jupiter. So here they are, I took the time to write these down for you inquisitive mind, you!

- Io is the name of the innermost moon of the FOUR Galilean moons orbiting Jupiter.

- It's also the FOURTH largest moon in the Solar System.
- The symbol of the planet Jupiter resembles the number FOUR (see below).
- Jupiter is one of the FOUR giant planets in the Solar system consisted of gas. The others are Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune.
- My favorite character from my favorite anime Sailor Moon is Sailor Jupiter, and she's the FOURTH member of the original five sailors.

- My father is the FOURTH youngest child in his family.
- I am the FOURTH child in my family.
- I was born on the FOURTH of September.
- The month September is one of the FOUR Gregorian months with 30 days.
- And last, but NOT least, the name of the Prophet Muhammad SWA and my one and only God, Allah SWT are written in FOUR letters in Arabic alphabet.

I think there are a few more, but I can't seem to remember them right now. Hmm, I guess I'll add them later. I added in stars after Io because, well, a moon is practically a star. I made it in plural form to make it sound nicer.

So there you go, explanation of the word Iostars. Some of you might think that I overstretched it a bit with some of the facts above, but bah, who cares? It's still pretty neat, huh? Admit it! lol

Transformers: all flash, all noise, null substance.

Just got back from watching Transformers today, and uh, well, to put this bluntly: it sucks. Let's get to the pros first: I love watching the stuffs get blown up. True, the child in me jumped in delight whenever there were explosions and buildings obliterated. I love seeing gigantic robots smackdown, blew up, and pretty much went to extreme overkill trying to reduce each other to a pile of scrap. That's why I love the destruction-happy Terminator 3. But seriously, the actions happened so fast in Transformers I literally only saw blurs in the screen and was left wondering, "what the hell's going on now?" The adult in me felt like he badly wanted to grab one of those colossal robots by the legs and throw them at the screen. There's no need to use your brain when watching this, folks. This is typical American movie at one of its loudest and worst (I guess that pretty much explains it all). The story is absolutely ridiculous, devoid of any class, substance, or heart. Some of the scenes and characters were completely pointless. One scene shows a guy (an army guy) sliding underneath one of the evil bots shooting grenades at it. Oh! The bravado! Americans are cool! What is this, a military ad? The acting, script and writing were atrocious. Plot holes the size of robot fists riddled the whole story. Shameless marketing placements abound. Nokia. eBay. Panasonic. Apple. The Army. Hummer. Pontiac. Cars. Cars. Cars!! The characters (oh my God...) were incredibly nauseating, so cliched and stereotyped. In fact, they were so annoying that I left the movie disappointed because pretty much all of them survived in the end. I kept praying that one of them would get blown up by a stray missile, sliced in half or crushed to death underneath one of the robots' feet, but unfortunately, they never happened. In fact, no one really dies on screen (which goes to show the movie's attempt in reaching out its mechanical arms to kids and toddlers audience). The only saving grace is really the main guy, Sam Witwicky (hold on. Sam who??) played by Shia Lebouf. And oh, Bernie Mac (the car seller guy) was pretty entertaining for the 5 minutes screen time he was given, eventhough I had a hard time understanding what he said. By these "characters", I was referring to the human, flesh-and-blood characters. The robots are another story. Not surprisingly, my heart went out entirely to the evil bots (called the Decepticons) because they're absolutely badasses compared to the good bots. And because (surprise!) they didn't talk and spew as much irritating pop references as the good bots do. Some of the good bots (okay, okay. Autobots!) acted like 14-year old punks rather than coming across as tough, noble giants. At one scene, the evil head honcho recovered from a rubble in a fight with some wounded men lying near his arm. He scoffed, "Disgusting," then flicked his finger at the nearest guy, sending him flying across the street. My thoughts exactly.

Despite the bad overweighting the goods, I will still buy the DVD when it come out, though. The adult in me might have walked away in disgust, but the brainless child in me is cherishing all the mayhem he had witnessed. What he could make out of it, at least.

That damn bird.

Today, while I was YM-ing (Yahoo Messenger) with my sisters in my room, a very unexpected and totally annoying thing happened to me. It must have been around nine in the morning or something, the weather outside was pretty chillin' from last night's big rain, with rather dark clouds and moderate wind. Since I love letting in air into the apartment, I opened up the balcony door and returned to my room. Not long after that I heard a peculiar sound coming from the living room. "Meh, probably just the wind," I said, so I ignored it. Big mistake. Shortly after, I heard a fluttering sound heading into my room, so I looked up and stared as a small bird (apa sih bahasa Inggrisnya burung gereja?) flew into my room and perched itself on my window. "What the hell...?" I kept staring at it to see what it would do. Apparently, the poor wee bird was extremely confused, as it fluttered this way and that, trying to find a way out of my room, and it tried to fly out my window, which was impossible because it was closed and equipped on the outside with a... apa sih bahasa Inggrisnya kawat nyamuk? I growled and then got up to get the broom. When I got back I swung at it a few times to drive it out of the room, and I could see the bird going "Oh, shit" as it panicked and flew around haphazardly as it tried to find its way out (if only it would flew out of the room...). After one minute of swinging and cussing, I succeeded only in cleaning my broom of the dusts it had accumulated and sending, oh, probably thousands of unhealthy microbes into the air inside my bedroom. My patience running thin, the bird finally flew out of the room and I closed my balcony door, went back to my room and observed sullenly the carnage my broom-swinging had wrought. A lot of my things were covered in dust, I sighed and then noticed something on my bed sheet. I looked at it and went "AAARGH!!" Apparently, I scared the bird so badly it crapped its pants on the way out. Not long after that, I heard another sound from my living room and went to investigate it, and saw the exact same bird perching on the ceiling fan. It mustn't have got out the first time. I went "YOU!!", and then opened my balcony door and grabbed my trusty Broom-o'-Death(TM). But before I was able to do anything to it, it flew out the balcony and out, out into the free, free world!

That bird will probably have a ball telling its friends of the experience it had in my apartment.

True, I love a little taste of nature here and there around me, but NOT in my bedroom! And especially NOT on my bed sheet!! Oh sure birds are cute, but you wouldn't think so if it had ruined your morning and sent you on an unplanned-trip to the laundry. Ah, well. I'll probably have to adapt a more gentle approach the next time.

Oh, and go watch Ratatouille. The rats are cute.

To Arkansas and Back (part III)

Thursday:
God, this is taking forever. If you're bored by the last two posts already, take heart: there's not much going on on the last day.

So I woke up at around 7.00 AM and went to the hotel's cafe for breakfast. Mind you, the hotel we're staying at wasn't a 4-5 star one, so I wasn't expecting any terrific feasts for my breakfast. True enough, there's a long table laden with the likes of bread, toasts, juices, fruits, etc. A very American breakfast. Unfortunately, the only meat available was pork, so I passed it up. At around 8.00 AM we the Aggies gathered and say goodbye to everyone, then got on our van. Like before, our return trip was pretty uneventful. We stopped by at Subway (a sandwich joint) for lunch. I became sort of a Subway guru here (grin). Most of my friends have never been to Subway, while I had often ate here before. Subway works like this: all our orders are assembled upon order, so we have to pick what bread we want, what filling (meat, chicken, turkey, tuna, etc.), what vegetables and cheese, and what dressings we want on our sandwich. So I pointed out to my friends how to place an order and which sandwiches are most tasty. Since the breakfast I had didn't quite fill me up, I myself ordered a 1-foot long (30 cm) sandwich and finished it in minutes. Everybody laughed at me. We continued on our trip shortly and after several more hours, we finally got back to each of our apartment. Upon opening the door to mine, I noticed a card fell to the floor. It must have been stuck to the doorcrack by someone. I picked it up and read:

"5/15
May rent is past due
come to office ASAP to
make payment
Shawn"

Crap.

To Arkansas and back (part II).

Tuesday:
Second day was actually the busiest and most tiresome of the workshop, but seriously, there isn't much to talk about it. Nor anything interesting happened at that day. What happened was first the chief of the workshop selected four Aceh communities that needed rebuilding based on the essays submitted by students. Before we got here, each of us was asked to write a short essay describing our community back home, what's the condition of the populace, the infrastructure, etc. So the chief selected four students and asked them to give a brief presentation about their communities. After that, we were assigned into groups based on our disciplines and discuss how we can contribute to the rebuilding process. After more and more discussions, then we picked a representative from our group to give a presentation of what we've come up with so far. Then the chief gave some suggestions, and we had more discussions, and then we had dinner, and then we took photos, and there was dancing and singing, and there was another meeting again, and then we went to sleep (all these happened between 8.00 AM - 8.30 PM).

Whew, glad I've written that down.

Oh btw, I watched Contact on TV and went to sleep at 1.30 and woke up the next morning sleepy. Again.

Wednesday:
The next morning we wrapped up our presentations after breakfast, and then about 11.00 AM we went back to our rooms to pack our bags and checked out. We went to Little Rock (which I was told to be Arkansas' capital), had a chicken steak and fried rice lunch at a place called "Lily's Dim Sum and Then Some" (gotta love American puns). We all went to William J. Clinton's Presidential Library (yes, that Bill Clinton) to take a short tour. Well, the place was called "library" but it really is some sort of gallery and/or exhibit center filled with memorabilia and historical stuffs from America's preceding president. It kind of fascinates me how Americans erected this place in honor of their president. I wonder how long till we get to see something like this in Indonesia. There was a duplicate of the Oval Room, a meeting room where the president and his aides had a, well, a meeting! There were also shelves stuffed with real government records, a black armored presidential limousine ("Ever since JFK's murder we never used convertibles anymore," the tour guide explained), rows and rows of exhibits like saxophones Clinton used to play, and gifts and souvenirs from other countries. We also had a short screening of Clinton's life from his birth to his becoming a president. Oh, one other thing I forgot to mention was that the building was built based on "Green Design". What it means is that basically the building was built using recycled materials (some of the floors was made using rubber from used tires) so it's more "economically friendly", so to speak. My sister-in-law can probably explain this better than I do, lol.

After that we had another short tour to a Heifer building nearby, a center of a project dedicated to "getting rid of world's hunger". Wow. The tour guides explained that the project had also contributed some to the rebuilding of Aceh and Nias. We walked around the building for a short time before we (finally!) went shopping for souvenirs in a gift store not so far away. Most of the gifts there had Clinton on it (well, duh. The place was called "Clinton Museum Store"), but much to my chagrin, the stuffs there was pretty expensive. So I just bought two Arkansas fridge magnets for souvenirs. and then went to the hotel where we're staying for the night. The hotel was nice, but the food's mediocre, so I don't remember the name of the hotel (ungrateful bastard). Shortly after, we got on the bus again for a dinner invitation at the house of one Dr. Alan Suggs, the President of the University of Arkansas. His house itself isn't very big, but it lies in the middle of a huge piece of land in the city. He and his wife were perfectly nice and sweer. We ate there, did a few presentations like singing and dancing (Aceh traditional songs and Saman dance). Then finally (whew!) retired to the hotel to rest for our return trip the next day.

To Arkansas and back (part 1).

Like some of you have probably known, the Tsunami Relief Program was intended for students from a certain region of those countries that got hit by the Big T. So, it is only natural that most (if not all) of the Indonesian students that got this scholarship program was from Aceh. It's been nearly a week (doggone it, a week? How fast time travels never cease to amaze me) since I went to Arkansas for the Fulbright Tsunami Relief Retreat/Workshop. Since I have nothing better to talk about (unless you want to hear my whining, which I doubt), I'm going to write down the whole experience here.

Monday:
I woke up at 5.30 AM, grab my stuffs and went to a friend's house nearby who would take us to the meeting point with the staffs from Texas A&M Univ. Why so early, you say? Well, I was asked to show up at my friend's house before 6.10 AM, that's why. It was not surprising though, that I was the first one to show up. None were there yet, including the guy who asked me to come before 6.10 AM (he showed up half and hour later). So we got to the meeting point at 7 AM. There were eight of us Fulbrighters plus four staffs. We divided up into two vans and departed shortly after. The journey was smooth and uneventful, but the companionship was pleasant. The two TAMU staffs in our van was very friendly and we chatted alot. It was a good opportunity to practice my speaking. We had a stop over a few times, and stopped by a Mexican restaurant called 'Two Senoritas' some time at 2 PM. I didn't enjoy Mexican foods too much, having tried nearly every single menus on Taco Bell and finding none to my liking, so I got a good old-fashioned American chicken steak instead. We continued on our journey and got to the location of the retreat around 6 PM: the Winthrop Rockefeller Center. The place was pretty much in a middle of nowhere not-so-high up in a mountain. Some of the participants were already there and I got to meet some. Not surprisingly, most of them spoke to each other in Aceh language (which I don't understand), so it took me a bit getting used to. To my delight, each of us was assigned our own room, and I got the first room on the list.

Ahh, the room. I suppose I could expect nothing less from one of the richest family in America (FYI, Winthrop Rockefeller was Governor of Arkansas once). Well, it's true we're not talking about "OHMYGODTHISROOM WAS TEH LUXURIOUS@#$T", but I love my room. It's more of a "This is really comfy. I got everything I want here." Satellite TV, big bathroom, and fluffy, fluffy bed and pillows (these are of the utmost importance!!).

Anyway, I washed up and met everyone for dinner. The food was fine, but the real show for me was the chocolate cake (I just love talking about foods don't I). When one of the waitresses came by to pick up my plate, I told her that since the cake was so good I'm gonna grab a few slice to my room to eat tonight. She laughed and asked if I would want a box for that. What an angel.

After dinner we gathered in the meeting hall. There were around 35 of us participants, and the chief of the workshop asked us to introduce ourselves before he talked about it. To my surprise, all of the participants was from Aceh. I thought there should be some from outside of the region. And so it turned out that I was the only non-Aceh and non-Acehnese participant in the retreat. However, I was relieved that the atmosphere of the workshop was not stiff (as in 'too formal' stiff). It was pretty casual. Everyone was very friendly and prone to laughter, we had a good time on our first night. And that's a very important thing. A good beginning does good to your spirit when you're doing something.

We retired to our rooms some time after 10 PM. I turned on the TV, grabbed my cake, and watched a crappy show about that whore Paris Hilton; Sex and the City; South Park; X-Files; and Law and Order. By the time I realized, it was 1 AM already. "Shit," I grumbled to myself, "I'd probably got sleepy tomorrow." And it turned out I was right.

Sleepless in Campus.

As I'm writing this, I'm sitting on the floor, in a corner of a study area at the library annex, on the 4th floor, at 12.15 AM.

Surprisingly, the large room's quite stuffed with students.

Must be the end of the semester.

Yes, it's going to be the first time of perhaps many countless library sleepover in my life as a grad student here. I got a paper to turn in on Friday, so I'm pulling an all-nighter for tonight. Lots o' stuff to do, lot o' things to finish. My stomach demanded some stuffing, but considering the time, I don't think anyone's open at this time o' night. Except Taco Bell, but it would be a bit of a walk. And for safety reasons I'd rather not go there at this time of night. Remembering those emails I got from the university about news of after-midnight assaults on the streets, I thought up a better way to look for sumtin' to eat, so I headed to the vending machines building next door. To my dismay, none of the machines accepted my card, and my pocket's short of dollar bills at the time. Lucky me, further rummaging inside my pockets revealed precisely eight quarters, just enough to get me a cinnamon pastry and a bottle of lemon iced tea. "You're going to be my dinner for tonight," I said. I heard sweet meals are good for energy.

I don't feel any yawns coming up yet, so that must be a good sign.

Oookaay... back to work.

Pergilah Chrisye.

Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi roji'un.

Semalam aku dapat SMS dari kawanku, ngasi tau kalo Chrisye baru aja meninggal malam sebelumnya. Waduh, sedih kali aku. Masalahnya dalam dunia entertainment & musik di Indonesia, Chrisye-lah figur yang paling ku-respect and lagu2nya paling kusukai. Tak ada itu Peter Pan, Dewa, Padi, Gigi, Sapi, Tangga, Kotak, Asbak (sebetulnya aku asal bunyi aja ini, tak tau aku ntah ada ntah nggak nama2 grup band yg kubilang barusan. Abis orang Indonesia tak ada kreatifnya pun bikin nama band). Yang agak lumayan yaaah... Potret boleh laaah. Lagu2nya enak juga.

Mas Chrisye sepertinya meninggal akibat kanker paru-paru stadium 4 yang udah dideritanya stlh cukup lama. Kankernya didapat karena dia kabarnya perokok berat (CURSE YOU, tobacco!!). Yang bikin aku sedih lagi pas aku nengok berita2 yg dulu, katanya dia gak ada uang untuk berobat karena kebanyakan royaltinya kemakan sama pembajak2 musik. Oh, dear!

Tapi ya sudah lah, seperti kata abangku, "memang udah ajal." Mo bilang apa lagi. Aku doakan semoga Chrisye dapat beristirahat dengan tenang, dan diterima segala amal dan ibadahnya di sisi Allah SWT. Amin. Dan yang tak kalah pentingnya, Chrisye had left us with some of the most memorable and beautiful songs in the history of Indonesia. Like a legendary figure, his songs had left their strokes on the landmark of our musical history. And those strokes will be forever there for us to listen to.

Pergilah Chrisye. We will always remember you and your songs.

What's in a name?

Today at Aggiecon (a 3-day convention at the campus) I had my name written down in kanji (Japanese characters. Well, actually it's Chinese characters, but you know what I mean). The very nice Japanese lady who held the stand took my first name and broke it into four parts (MA,HA,MU,TO), each with a kanji character and its own distinct meaning. They're beautiful, both the calligraphy and their meanings. She gave me a sheet of paper detailing the meaning of each character. I'll write it down here:

MA: shining, polish.
"This person has a pure, clean heart. This is his blessing from God."

HA: one of Japan's most famous poets (Basshó).
"'HA', from the famous Japanese poet, indicates artistic sense, wisdom, and appreciation of nature." The lady added that since this poet had left his mark in the history of Japan, so it is hoped that I, who share his name, will also left my mark in history. ("Amen!" I said)

MU(BU): samurai.
"'BU', from 'Bushido' - the way of the samurai - indicates honor. Samurai virtues include courage, honesty, and mercy."

TO: capital.
"The literal meaning of 'TO' is capital, but it means more. 'TO' is the second kanji in Kyoto, the ancient Japanese capital. It indicates nobility." She then added that Kyoto was regarded as the core of the world, and so it is hoped that I will also become a 'core' for someone else, or perhaps in the world.

Such grand meanings. It's no less beautiful than the names I got from my parents. I remember my father once told me that names are prayers for the one who bear it. Oftentimes afterwards, whenever I'm alone, I get to thinking about myself. Who am I? What is my goal in life? I'm a very laid back guy, pretty emotionless (I think). Ambition? None whatsoever. Whenever I think of my life, sometimes I would get scared about where I'll be heading.

But there are also times when I just burst out laughing at my own silliness. There's no need to be afraid. La vita é bella. Life's beautiful. My name is Mahmud Arief Albar. Mahamuto. I'm the praised one (Mahmud). I'm wise (Arief). I'm grand (Albar). I'm shining, artistically sensed, appreciative of nature. I'm honor, courage, honesty, and mercy. I'm the core and the capital. I'm all of those and so much more!! I'm blessed with a beautiful name. With so much prayers and hopes in my name, I'm protected from all the ugliness in the world! I don't care where I'll be heading. For now, I will just live my life so I can bear my name with pride. I will strive to be all those prayers and more. And then when I die, God will let me know whether or not I've taken good care of my name!! Then I can start worrying!

What's in a name? A lot!!

"Procrastinator" is my middle name.

Friday. Past midnight. (Which, I suppose, would make this Saturday)

I suppose it's no secret, to people who knew me, that I'm a real sloth when it comes to doing things. Like now, for instance, I should be doing my paper, but instead I'm wasting precious minutes updating my blog! Arr! Tomorrow is the last day of spring break (Sunday not included). Before spring break started, I made a resolution that I would spent all my time in the whole week to work on my papers, major project, assignments, or what have I. But, like all the poor, sad resolutions that I have made in the past, that resolution is now drifting aimlessly somewhere in the thick mist inside my brain, lost and forgotten.

You know, I always think of resolutions like a faucet. You turned it open, then you went away to do something and if you forgot to close it, sooner or later you'll have your kitchen or bathroom ankle-deep in water. Well. In my case, the water has gotten so deep I'm practically drowning in a sea of unfinished papers and assignments. That's the thing about resolutions: you forgot about it for a second and it came back with a vengeance. I made a resolution to do my assignments for the whole week of spring break, neglected it for half of the week, then spend the remaining half regretting it. Sigh. Maybe a few hours of PS2 will lift my spirit...

Enough!! Less blog-updating!! More paper-doing!!

Being judgmental is bad... but MAN it feels good!!

Okay, introspection time.

I reread my last few posts and then immediately burst out laughing. I was so judgmental!! I can tell whenever I was being judgmental because I sound real pissed. Oh wait. That logic is a little backwards, isn't it? Hmm.

Anyways, it feels good to be judgmental for once in a while. Whenever you need to vent, you won't want to put a limit on your rage meter nor care how much you're repeating yourself. Let me tell you a story to illustrate my point:

One of my best friends came to my house one day when I was alone (this was way back when I was still in Medan, mind), and he asked to use the telephone. No problem, so I went back inside and gave him the house's wireless phone. He dialled his girlfriend's number and the next thing I knew, he shouted, bellowed, and snapped into the phone at the top of his voice. For the next 30 minutes or so I watched in amusement as he proceeded to swear and call his girlfriend names and stuff in a manner any pissed boyfriend in the world would be proud of. It was particularly funny because we were sitting in the terrace and people passing by in front of my house kept staring at our direction due to my friend's shouting and cursing. After he was done, he put the phone down and started venting. He was having a fight with his girlfriend (duh) over some trivial matter, which actually as I analyzed it, the fault was also on his side. But I always keep it my personal rule to not interrupt a person while he's letting out all his steam, so I just kept quiet and listened intently. Then he told me, well, basically he said, "I know I had a fault too in this, but I'm real angry right now, y'know. And whenever I'm angry, I don't want to hear you or anyone correct me! Anything I said is absolute and that's that! I don't want to hear anything else, eventhough I'm wrong!!" I grinned and made some more lemon tea for him.

It feels really great to be judgmental. It's bad, yes, and you certainly don't want to keep it up lest you want to endanger your social life. But now and then, there comes a boiling point in your day and you just have to let it all up and find some poor, unsuspecting sod to vent it all on... in a non-destructive way, certainly. Luckily, I'm pretty good at self-control, so I never (and will never I hope) did any irrational or destructive behavior while I'm angry. Usually I just shut up like a clam, put on a sour face and walk away. And if I happen to be in front of the computer, I put it all in scathing, unintelligible words. So if you think my previous posts are too one-sided and judgmental, talk to my hand. :)

And besides, this is my blog. So I get to write what I want. So there.

Rants (contd.)

(continued from previous post)

The most frustrating thing is, after all these disasters, most of us still stupidly look at each other and say, "what had we done to deserve these?" Uh, excuse me? How about all those corruptions that have been running rampant in our country since god-knows-when? And oh, don't forget the Indonesian Playboy magazine those pea-for-brains over at Jakarta had licensed straight from Hugh Hefner himself. And what's up with those mystic shows and adult-oriented programs? Oh yeah. You dirty MF-ers don't give a rat ass what happens to our country as long as you got your pockets lined up with money, don't you? I say, round 'em all up and, in the eternal words of the Red Queen, "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!"

But seriously, we Indonesians really need to change. We're too busy minding our own business that we ignored other people's rights. We're too busy pointing fingers at each other that we didn't realize our own mistakes and faults. Sure, we can all point fingers at someone to serve as a scapegoat (the favorite so far seems to be former Pres. Soeharto), but are WE any better than him? Are we doing ANYTHING to do our part in the society? For the country? No, nevermind for the country, what have we done for ourselves? Are we doing anything to make our own lives better? Or are we always waiting for someone to make it better for us? Indonesians nowadays only care about their own rights, but they completely neglected their own obligations. We demand 'reforms', 'improvements in social infrastructure', 'better jobs', but what have WE actually contributed to the society and country to make those improvements happen? Just one year after SBY got the office, there were people already protesting, demanding him to quit the position as the president. Imbeciles. Who the hell do they think are? If you morons think SBY was doing a bad job, then why don't you name someone who can actually do a much better job than he could? Huh? HUH? And STOP thinking of the president as some kind of a GODDAMN HARRY POTTER!! SBY is no magician, he can't just wave his magic wand to make all our country's problems disappear! He needs US. He needs OUR cooperation. WE need each other's cooperation. WE need to work with each other to make our country a better place to live, a better country with better people and better government. It always amaze me that instead of us, the only ones that are truly, really cooperating with each other, helping each other... are the corruptors. They help each other to cover their tracks, hide their crimes, and by doing so they ensure the safety of their own skin. Why can't we work together like this?

The Nature itself had become restless. Earthquakes, tsunamis, disasters. Each kept happening one right after another. Their sounds formed a harmony of deafening rapid sequence... like that of an alarm clock.

That's our wake up call.

We can heed it, or we can continue to sleep in eternal bliss and ignorance while our whole world crumbles around us.

Subhanallah.

Tsunamis. Floods. Earthquakes. Public transport disasters. Oh my.

Not so long ago, I received news that the region of West Sumatera, the native homeland of my ethnic group (suku), Minangkabau, was hit by a massive earthquake. Immediately my heart sank.

No, seriously. No pun intended.

It's one thing to hear that the earthquake happened in your home country, but it's certainly entirely another (and definitely worse) to hear it happen in a place that has a personal value to you. West Sumatra. It's the land of my ancestors. I've been afraid that this would happen one day, ever since I read an issue of National Geographic assessing the high-risk zones in Indonesia. To my horror, West Sumatra was among those that have the highest risk of getting hit by earthquakes and tsunamis. It's not just the earthquakes though. Ever since the tsunami in Aceh, everything seems to go downhill from there. Nias' earthquake. Mandala crash. The flood of hot mud that nearly buried an area in Java. Ceaseless rains in Medan and drought in Jakarta. And then a flood in Jakarta. Airplanes falling out of the sky like paper on fire. The grand Pagaruyung Palace went up in flames. etc. etc. etc. I heard somewhere (probably from a Jum'ah khutbah) that all these disasters that have been happening to us are warnings from God, Allah SWT, that we, Indonesians must change and do our best efforts to repent and make everything better. That might very well be the case, but the important point is whether we actually learn something or not from all these disasters. The fact is that we Indonesians need a lot of change. And I do mean a lot. Like, a HELL lot.

(continued to next post)

PC Gamer sucks.

I wish Computer Gaming World still exists. PC Gamer just doesn't cut it for me. Granted, the magazine has an okay layout, and usually I get to read exclusive reviews faster than from any other sources, but the language is... grating. Now the magazine throws cusses around and sounds like a 14-year old entering puberty. In other word: gross. Things weren't like this when the previous editor-in-chief Dan Morris was in charge. It was fun but retained a respectable feel and had a wider appeal. Now Greg "TheVede" Vederman, who used to be in charge of the hardware articles, makes reading the magazine an irritating exercise. Like I've said before, there's the cussing ("dammit, sh*t, f-ing, f**k, bitch"). And then there's the joke articles, which IMO, I never found to be funny, they're gross and lowbrow at best. And why the hell does the magazine kept fueling the pointless, stupid, insipid, juvenile anti-console sentiment to PC gamers? While personally I also don't like the Xbox and 360 (mainly because most of their most popular games were stolen from the PC), don't these people realize that it's all about the games. If we get to play great games? They have their own games, and we have ours. Seriously, the majority of these console-bashing and PC-bashing morons are immature teenagers. Which probably is the target audience this magazine has. If I hadn't subscribed to the mag for a year, I wouldn't have bothered with it at all.

It brings back memories...

Mentioning Judy Garland in my previous post all of a sudden made me want to hear her singing Over the Rainbow again. It's the most memorable song I've ever heard in my childhood. In my urge I downloaded the mp3 from Limewire (I'm sorry Judy! I promise to buy Wizard of Oz again one day!). And as I listen to the her soft, wistful, singing, I laughed.

I smiled and laughed.

The very same smile and laughter I made when I was a child.

Dorothy (FYI, Judy's character in Wizard of Oz) was singing for all of us. We all, after all, are always looking for our perfect paradise.

Somewhere over the rainbow.

On Beauty

12:12 PM. Alone. Teletubbies on the TV.

I was rummaging through the net, looking for that famous quote by Greta Garbo ("I want to be alone.") then stumbled on AFI's -American Film Institute - 50 Greatest Screen Legends list, in which she was no. 5 (my beloved Judy Garland is no. 8). Here's the link just in case anyone want to see it: http://www.afi.com/tvevents/100years/stars.aspx

In a case of stupidity that I hope all film-goers would be kind enough to forgive, that page was where I first found out that Audrey Hepburn was NOT related to Katharine Hepburn. I always thought Audrey was the daughter of Katharine Hepburn. My mistake!

Okay, after that I browsed through each names on the list by Wikipedia. What struck me then, - as I looked at the pictures of these great actresses and actors - is how beautiful and handsome these people are. My mind then flew to thinking of today's 'hottest' and most popular stars. Angelina Jolie. Beyonce. Brad Pitt. Tom Cruise. etc. All of them, and I mean ALL, look like garbage compared to these past great screen legends (most of whom are already deceased). And please don't get me started on Paris Hilton. True, I have some favorites from today's stars, but nearly all of them are senior ones like Meryl Streep, Anthony Hopkins, and uh... well, that's it, really. Oh, I like Anne Hathaway too. Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that there's no longer that luminous presence, dignity. Our eyes no longer light up in wonder and fascination when we set sight on these 'hottest' stars. What light is there are drowned by the flashes from papparazzi cameras, news and magazines force-feed us useless and pointless informations, and these stars' behavior are only making it worse: bed-hopping, trial-and-error marriage, spouse-stealing, public indecency; the list goes on. Give Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Lindsay Lohan, and Beyonce Knowles a few years of popularity and they strip down their clothes. Because of what? "I'm mature now." Oh, so stripping down in your video clip and wearing minimal clothing makes you an adult? Moron.I don't want to be a hypocrite. I do like looking at beautiful actresses and artists. But if that's all I'm looking for, come 50, the physical attraction would have gone and what will they be left with? Wrinkles or plastic surgery.

What beauty is there in today's stars are purely sexual. The dignity and pride are gone the moment their clothes are off. If AFI's 50 legends were only pretty, they wouldn't have make it to that list. They made it there because people have something to remember them by.

...................

Just got a very fine copy of Bjork's Vespertine today. Bought it from half.com for 5 bucks. Considering how epic and wondrous this album is, it's a steal!!

As I listen to the songs, and looking at my blog, I was suddenly struck by an epiphany about myself and couldn't help thinking, "I am a pretty gloomy guy." Well, I didn't mean it like 'gloomy' as in 'constantly sad and depressed', but my overall taste on everything: movie, music, game, aesthetical designs, etc., is... well, 'dark'. I always cater to the underdog, the muted and silence in the design and color of our universe and my surroundings. For example, just now I was thinking of picking up a new template for my blog, after browsing through a few, I end up returning to this template because... the other templates are too bright and colorful. Maybe that's why I also ended up loving Bjork's music. (btw, in case you haven't noticed, the title of this blog and the small lines beneath it are taken from Bjork songs, 'All is Full of Love' and 'Hidden Place.') Her songs, like Enya, are just beautiful. It's ever so rare there are songs that I can close my eyes to and let myself drifted away by their sounds. The songs I love most are those that have an undercurrent beneath them that flows through me and pours into me, and then... they kept echoing inside me.

What have I written?

I was just re-reading that last paragraph and was dazed at what I was writing there. How weird. Is it the magnitude of the moment? Well, actually, it isn't so much as magnitude as it is peaceful. It's 2:00 PM now, the sky is cloudy and looks like it's going to rain. I'm alone at my apartment right now, the trees are still bald from autumn, and the usually strong gusts that blow outside are still now.

How Zen.

Maybe that's the other problem with me: I daydream too much.

But daydream or not, it's times like these that I can feel the divine seeps in, and I couldn't help but feel gratitude to Allah SWT for hushing the chaos of my world and painting it with silence.

My existence is Yours. And this is my hidden place.

Start panicking!

First of all, I just want to say that this eblogger site can be a real pain in the ass. Sometimes I can access my blog straightaway, other times not. And when I can't, I have to re-login, MANY times unsuccessfully. I've banged my keyboard several times because of times. For F sakes, I'm lazy enough as it is to update this blog, and all this problem are NOT helping at all!!

rants aside,... no, screw that, I still want to rant. It's 3:42 AM now. I just had a few hours sleep before midnight so the drowsiness has not re-settled yet. I had finished my Bibliography paper that I have to submit in a few hours time. I don't know if I had got it all correctly, but I'm hoping for the best. I thought this class would be a piece of cake, because, heck, it's only about citing sources and stuff. You know, making acknowledgements and all. Turns out it was quite a living hell. I think this class will be the death of me. Fortunately, one of my friends (a very nice -and pretty to boot- girl named Ginger) asked me to come along to the library to join in the discussion with some others on making the paper. Apparently, I'm not the only one having trouble with the class and the papers, which was a huge relief. If it weren't for them, my paper would've been a total mess. Well, it still is anyway, but I'm sure it's much, much better now with my friends' help. But looking back now and counting the total time it took me to finish this paper... I think it took me around 15 hours to finish this paper. 15 hours! Just to make 10 citations! If it took me this long just to make 10 citations I shudder to think how long it will take me to finish my major project...

Okay, this week will probably be my busiest one yet. First there's a paper on TWO critical essays on Aphra Behn's works I have to finish for next Monday, which will ALSO be my turn to do the oral presentation in the class, and then there's a 100+ lines of Beowulf I have to translate, then there's a transcription assignment plus textual criticism on some woman's letter (I forgot her name) concerning the ballot or voting system in... colonial America was it? I don't even remember. And oh, don't forget to finish reading The Rover. And for the love of God and all that's sacred in my puny life, START WORKING ON THE MAJOR PROJECT!! Lastly, if it's possible, squeeze in a few hours of Neverwinter Nights 2 or God mode in God of War (video games... how could I bear life without you...).

Yikes! I better start cracking.

Going to sleep now.

"Mak Uncu Amud"

Hehee... my sister-in-law just gave birth to a girl not so long ago. I'm an uncle! Hmmm... karena aku orang Minang, trus dalam keluarga aku anak laki2 yg paling kecil, jadi aku nanti bakal dipanggil Mak Uncu sama ponakanku. "Mak Uncu Amud"... heheh, that sounds weird. anyway, congrats to B.Tau n K.Mimi atas kelahiran bayinya. Insya Allah kelahiran anak tsb membawa berkah n karunia n kebahagiaan ke dalam rumah tangga. I'm just real glad that my parents now, finally, they have a grandchild. The first grandchild! More to come soon! Huahahaha. Sekarang tinggal nunggu kelahiran ponakan yg di Medan aja nih, Insya Allah K.Inda melahirkan dgn selamat dah!

I read this book about our Minang customs and tradition a few years ago. Actually in the past, the "Mamak" (the uncle) has quite a big responsibility to his niece/nephew. He has to teach them about the Minang tradition, family tradition, religion, and he also has a considerable say in the child's education. That's quite a heck of responsibility. If that tradition still applies today, I would have quite a huge task ahead of me. I mean, I'm having trouble enough as it is dealing with my life's mess, much less having to take care of my niece's growth. Yowza!

Anyhow, I'll be expecting a lot assignments in the coming weeks, so I better prepare myself from now. And I need to tidy up things here at my blog!

4 weeks absence!!

It turns out, I neglected my blog for 4 weeks! 4 weeks! That's a month! oh, man, I gotta be more serious about doing this.

okay, let's see...

1. The new semester already starts, I have one night class for 3 hours, but that's okay cos' there's a 20-minute break. And just as I thought, this semester looks going to be a busy one. Granted, there are no exams in any of the class I'm taking (cheers to that!) but there's a weekly assignment, lots of books to read each week, and lots of oral presentations. God, I hate those. I don't know why, really. I mean, I'm a lecturer for god's sake, why do I always have trouble speaking up in class and get all sweaty whenever it's my turn to talk. But I'm learning. And I pray I'll improve.

2. I'm currently playing Rule of Rose. Nice enough game. Good presentation too. but like some people have said, it's quite frustrating and a bit dull. It reminds me of Lady in the Water. lots of things don't make sense, but you're still hooked to it. This is one gem that could have been much better had it not been so flawed. After this, I'm planning to move on to Okami.

2 weeks absence

argh! I've been neglecting my blog for more than 2 weeks now. a lot of things have happened within that time. Let me try to recall them one by one...

1. It's holiday time, so I went to my brother's house on December 15th. It's time to relax! Finally I can eat a different diet than oily fried nuggets and french fries for my everyday meals (shudders). I got to eat alot of great Indonesian foods cooked by my sister-in-law. Ahh...Indonesian foods, how I love (and miss) you!

2. We watched Will Smith's The Pursuit of Happyness. Very nice movie. Very moving, too. It's the first decent movie I've ever watched in 2006. Will Smith's acting was great, it's a good break from his tiresome macho-cool guy roles in his past movies. I think he deserves an Oscar nomination for this.

3. We went to San Francisco for a whole week! We visited lots of places, took lots of pictures, eat lotsa good food and chocolates. I'm planning to put up some of those pics in here later. Of course, 'later' in my definition could range anywhere from just a few days to another two weeks
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