Sit a spell and tell a tale.

As usual, I was frying my brains out working on my paper tonight when all of a sudden I remember this story from Black Isle's Planescape: Torment RPG I played some time ago. It was a very short tale actually, told by one of your companions in the game during a conversation. But it was very absorbing and deeply mesmerizing, and I absolutely like it, so I thought I would share it here for those who haven't played it. I hesitated for a second and stared at my unfinished assignment on my laptop screen. Sensing my intention to procrastinate, it grumbled and told me, "Hold that thought." Silence for a few seconds, then it threw up its hands in annoyance, "Oh, like you care what I said!!" I nodded and said, "Be right back." So here it is, the short story from the PC RPG Planescape: Torment, in the exact words as it is told in the game. Enjoy and ponder.

"An elderly man was sitting alone on a dark path. He wasn't certain of which direction to go, and he'd forgotten both where he was going and who he was. He'd sat down for a moment to rest his weary legs, and suddenly looked up to see an elderly woman before him. She grinned toothlessly and with a cackle, spoke: 'Now your *third* wish. What will it be?'"

"'Third wish?' The man was baffled. 'How can it be a third wish if I haven't had a second and first wish?'"

"'You've had two wishes already,' the hag said. 'But your second wish was for me to return everything to the way it was before you had made your first wish. That's why you remember nothing; because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes.' She cackled at the poor berk. 'So it is that you have one wish left.'"

"'All right,' said the man. 'I don't believe this, but there's no harm in wishing. I wish to know who I am.'"

"'Funny,' said the old woman as she granted his wish and disappeared forever. 'That was your first wish.'"

Me and la cucaracha; or: Thou shalt move thine arse off the floor to hath something accomplisheth.

This post is originally from last year, but strangely I never got around to posting it. So, since I'm scrounging for unpublished posts in my archive, I decided to have this forgotten little gem posted.

Before I write down what I originally meant to write here, I want to tell a rather... gross experience I just had several minutes ago:

I was sitting cross-legged on the floor, writing an email to my friend. All of a sudden a dark brown, shiny, pretty big cockroach came scuttling towards me at a quite high speed. I made a sweeping glance at the room lazily, and seeing nothing within reach that I can use to kill the cockroach, I raised my left hand and slammed my fist on it, killing it instantly. "PWNED!!" I scoffed in self-satisfaction.

...................
.........................

There was a sort of pregnant pause after that moment as I stared at my left hand (wet with cockroach innards) and then to the squished cockroach. As I washed my hand, I grumbled to myself, "What the hell was I thinking?" I should think that, had I a normal mind, my brain would have instructed me to got up quickly and look for something that would fit the job. But no! Apparently my laziness got the better of me so my brain said, "Oh, there's no cockroach-killing instrument nearby, so I will just use my left hand."

I don't know which is more gross: my laziness, or the fact that I used my hand to squish a cockroach. This post is gross, I don't know why I wrote this down. I'll just write what I originally meant to write in another post.

Ugh! Seriously.

The longest search is the most satisfying one.

Ain't internet grand? After about 10+ years, I finally found the ending song for that silly '80s anime Time Quest, or originally titled Time Travel Tondekeman. The anime was first aired in Indonesia sometime in mid '90s by Indosiar. I've always loved the song, but have no idea nor the means to know what the title nor who the singer was. Now, with the help of the internet, I finally found that song! I feel so nostalgic... Pidip pidip pidip terbaang... teko ajaib...!!

I heart Wall-E.

A few nights ago I went to the cinema to watch Wall-E. Again. For the third time this week. Truth be told, had I my own car, I would have gone everyday. Seriously. It's that good. Pixar's latest masterpiece is nothing short of an instant classic. I've always loved Pixar movies. Theirs are the kind that always made me giddy and excited like a schoolgirl when I watched them (urgh. Remind me not to say that again). And they don't disappoint either. Well, they did, once, with Cars. But they made amends with the stellar Ratatouille. I will eschew any spoilers of the story in favor of giving you a chance to discover the wonders and beauty of Wall-E by yourself. Trust me, you won't be disappointed. And if you were, then you're dumber than dirt.

Oh, that is so mean and unfair. Bad blogger!

But seriously though, Wall-E is a terrific movie. It's also pretty gutsy for an American animated movie, but still has a heart of gold. There's love and romance too, but not in the mushy, Beauty and the Beast-type romance. The movie is more mature than last year's Ratatouille, which is a big surprise (or perhaps I'm the only one feeling that way). Wall-E himself is the cutest character I've ever seen since... since... uhm... well, I'll be damned! I can't remember when the last time was that I used the word "cute" to describe something. Sheesh, how jaded can you get? Anyway, the movie's pretty mature, but certainly not in the same league as Miyazaki's or many other big screen Japanese animated productions. The movie is rated "G," but I can see why it won't win over many toddlers' heart. Wall-E embodies many mature themes and aspects such as satire, social commentary, dystopian future, and science-fiction, but executed them brilliantly. There's plenty of fast-paced actions, but probably not enough to satisfy dumbass nephew John or dim-witted cousin Nancy, both five and eight year old, respectively. Who the hell are they? I have absolutely no idea.

Oh! Name calling is not nice and unnecessarily nasty! Bad, bad blogger!!

Okay, that's rather unfair. I've read people's testimonials that they had brought along some kids to watch it and they seemed to enjoy the movie immensely. Good for them! At least they won't be as annoying as adults can be when they hate it. Like the SURPRISINGLY LARGE NUMBER OF HATERS AND TROLLS ON THE MESSAGE BOARD AT IMDB.COM.

Ahem. Allow me to gwacefully (sic) veer you away from my movie review and turn your attention to what this post is really about: rants. What! More rants? Is that really possible?? Why, yes. But now that I've managed to hold your attention this long, you can't possibly escape, now can you? Okay, okay, it's a half-rant... Oh come now, dearies, I won't be long... this time.

Elementary, my dear Watson. IMDB stands for the Institution for Mass Doofus and Boneheads. No, wait, that's not it... Oh yeah, it's Internet Movie Database. Basically the go-to site for all your movie *cough*andtrollingandflaming*cough* needs. So. I was surprised by the large number of people whining that Wall-E got a very high score and jumped straight to #6 at IMDb's best 250 movies list. Uhh, excuse you? Why is it any business of yours to complain that a movie got a very high review by, like, 99% of movie critics and 90% of general audience, and managed to score big at the box office? And why so disturbed? The movie hasn't been out for a week yet, and already many detractors are complaining that it doesn't deserve to have such a high average score (9.2). Apparently they're bothered that Wall-E had managed to top off Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Casablanca, or what classics have you in the popularity chart. Oh please, popularities come and go. Much as I love the movie, Wall-E has yet to stand the test of time (although personally, I think people will still look back to it 10 years from now). Look at 300 for example, that two-hour mediocrity of pretentious epic which boasted 300 men in skimpy bondage underwear with zero acting ability. Once upon a time it must have managed to score high in the chart because it got a 9+ average score when it first came out (oh!! the horror!), but not anymore, since it has now reduced to a measly 7.9. Sit on it, people! I'm not saying that Wall-E should have a lousy rating two years from now. If anything, I wish whole-heartedly for the opposite. But the more pressing question is, why are people so concerned with charts and popularities in the first place? It's like XBox 360 vs Playstation3 fanboys war all over again. That endless, insipid, console wars waged by prepubescent teenagers with pathetic spelling capabilities and endless arguments like, "XBOX 360 IZ TEH BEST!!" "YOU'RE A FROG! PS3 KIKC AZZES!!" AARRRGGHHH!!!

I'll just stop here and leave you with that unfinished statement and a triple-combo scream of agony, anguish, and distress.

See? I told you it'd be a half-rant!